Deja Snow

Back in December, when Snowpocalypse hit DC, I had gone to Samara’s house for her birthday. I was unprepared to document the event so only told the story of how I got home.

This time was different. I opted to go to my parents’ house, figuring that if I’m going to be snowed in somewhere, I might as well not be snowed in alone in my apartment.

The night before, I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things. It was madness. Not only were people stocking up for the snow, but they still thought they were going to have Superbowl parties! I saw more than one person with multiple overflowing shopping carts. This was the scene at the checkout. And believe it or not, this wasn’t the worst of it.

I got to my parents’ house just before the snow started to fall. When I looked out to their back neighbor’s backyard, there were a lot more animals than I expected. Obviously, they were trying to scrounge up as much food as possible before the storm really set in, but it occurred to me that maybe this is the reason grocery stores are always such mad houses right before storms. Maybe we have this deep-seeded primal instinct to hoard as much food as possible when we know the weather is going to go bad.

Or maybe some people were expecting guests with rather discriminating tastes and needed four different kinds of salsa in addition to two gallons of milk and five-dozen eggs. Who knows.

In any case, there were a lot of animals out there. Here’s 3:25 that was shot over about 10 minutes. See if you can count all the animals. The snow already on the ground was from the 6” we got last weekend.

Twitter was alight with creative names for the storm, including #snowpocalypse2 #snowmaggedon #snonami #snozilla #snohno #snolysh*t #snomygod #snOMG #snogasm #snovechkin (C-A-P-S CAPS! CAPS! CAPS!) #snowtoriousBIG #ohsnowyoudidnt #snowchildleftbehind and #snObama. I had to sit on the sidelines all day while a massive North v South snowball fight was organized for DuPont Circle. I’m pissed that I missed it, more so because I missed the U St snowball fight back in December. No guns this time.

We’re expecting another storm on Tuesday/Wednesday, and guys, if I have to get myself a hotel room in the city to make sure that I don’t miss this snowball fight, then I’m doing it. I am NOT missing three snowball fights in one year, damnit!

Back in Upper Marlboro, I shoveled the bottom 2/3 of the driveway three times. Friday night to clear the heavy, wet stuff, Saturday morning to clear the stuff that piled up at 3” an hour, and Saturday night to clear the last 8” that fell throughout the afternoon. I shoveled again yesterday to get to the street, clear one of the sidewalks, and help get the cars out. All totaled, I moved about 1500 cubic feet of snow. That’s as much as a 26’ UHaul truck.

So how much, exactly, did we get? The final number is… (drumroll) 25 inches!

Before and after with about 6-8” to go.

Some of you may remember that I challenged February to submerge my car. February failed – my car was only HALF buried. Lame. (mine is on the right)

And what kind of blizzard would it have been if I didn’t get some grilling done? Rack of lamb and A1 makes me happy.

Driving back to my apartment was an adventure all unto it’s own. The roads report I posted on Facebook…

Looks like most roads haven't been treated, but the sunshine did a lot of the work anyway. Neighborhoods by and large look terrible, but it gets better from there. On secondary roads, the snowpack is hard enough to drive on safely up to about 25 mph, but keep lots of distance and look out for potholes. Main roads alternate between completely clear and a 1.5-lane mess, so don't get cocky when it looks like everything's good. On/off ramps are rough and there's very little merging room. PLEASE clear ALL the snow off your car before heading out, and if someone hasn't done so, stay faaaaar away from them.

Endgame: Passable if you're careful and patient. Take a shovel.

And now I’m enjoying the Fed’s day off (I wonder if Obama is considered an “essential employee”). Looking forward to the possibility of another one Wednesday :)

UPDATE: Feds are off again Tuesday, likely Wednesday. NOAA is calling for 10-20"

Fried Green Apples

I am not a cook. I used to think I was in college, but then I realized that I was living in a frat house, where the ability to heat up meat makes you a regular Emeril Lagasse. And if you can put garlic powder on that meat? BAM, you're the house chef.

The truth is, I was/am an experimenter with foods. Sometimes, it turns out well. Other times, I make blueberry chicken. If you're wondering whether or not that tastes good, let me save you 30 minutes of vomiting: it does not taste good.

I recently discussed with someone how anything fried is better than anything unfried. So you'll never guess what I had for dinner last night - deep fried apples. I've had fried apple skins before, so I already knew they're pretty good. The problem is I've never successfully deep fried anything. Last time I tried was back at the frat house - a bunch of us bought up half the grocery store, covered everything in pancake batter, and letterip. (Just for reference deep fried zebra cakes = delicious, deep fried gummy worms = delicious but excruciatingly painful) But pancake batter doesn't make for the nice crispiness that I really wanted, so that's what I set out to find last night.

I attempted four methods: no coating, flour alone, flour and egg, egg alone. I used 1 1/2 granny smith apples and decided which ever was the best, I would use the last 1/2 apple.

No Coating: Yummy. very sweet, yet they don't quite taste deep fried. I could eat these all day

Flour Alone: Crispier than without the flour, but some of the apples aren't quite as delicious. Maybe I should have kept them in longer

Egg Alone: Not so much.

Egg and Flour: Alright, but egg+apple still doesn't taste very good.

After trying another small batch of flour alone that I left in for longer, I had a winner. I decided to top it all off with cinnamon and salt. I was a little wary of the salt, but let me tell you - it was amazing. My mouth literally exploded. My brain didn't know what to do. The only thing as delicious as this was the deep fried Snickers I had in New Jersey.

Do this, people, and it will be worth the heart attack. I promise.

Onto another discussion I was having recently: you can learn a lot about someone by what pops up on their iPod. We went around the circle, checking out the first 10-20 songs that came up randomly on our favorite playlists. I just so happen to have recently created a 4.6-hour playlist titled "Rock Your Face Off," and yes, it will rock your face off. So here's a buncha songs that came up randomly just now.

1. She Don't Use Jelly - The Flaming Lips
2. Seventy Times 7 - Brand New
3. Uprising - Muse
4. Don't Stop Me Now - Queen
5. The Future Freaks Me Out - Motion City Soundtrack
6. Your Are My Face - Wilco (give it a solid two minutes before decided it's no good. trust me)
7. Hang Me Up to Dry - Cold War Kids
8. Florida - Modest Mouse
9. Svart Ar Himlen - Dungen (couldn't find a link for this one)
10. Naive - The Kooks
11. Saint John - Cold War Kids
12. Say It Ain't So - Weezer
13. Kissing the Lipless - The Shins
14. Flourescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys
15. Walking With a Ghost - Tegan and Sara
16. Bad, Bad Levi Brown - Portugal. The Man
17. If I Ever Feel Better - Pheonix
18. Steady As She Goes - The Raconteurs
19. The Dark of the Matinee - Franz Ferdinand
20. Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus

What comes up on your favorite playlist? Be honest, guys. Don't post what you wish came up on your playlist or your favorite songs or take off songs that you don't want the world to know you listen to (lord knows I'm more than a little embarrassed about Teenage Dirtbag). Favorite playlist, random, 20 songs. That's it.

i'm in ur boiler room, fixin ur water

mox·ie (mŏk'sē)

n. Slang

1. The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage.

2. Aggressive energy; initiative

January just wouldn’t quit. Even after the aforementioned door-kicking incident and cutting of the unclottable finger, January just wasn’t done. On Saturday the 30^th, I was planning on going for a hike at Sky Meadows – a nice state park that contains a piece of the Appalachian Trail and is only about 45 minutes away. I was going to bring with me my whittling, a beer, and possibly my cowboy hat and rock out at this overlook I found last time I went hiking there.

The forecast called for an inch or two of snow. Even better. Looking forward to it.

Saturday morning rolls around and by 10AM it’s clear I’m not going anywhere. Ok, fine, I’ll just stay in and work on my whittling. The image is of a pigeon huddling for warmth on my kitchen window.

30 minutes later, that rook I was working on was split in twain. Whatever, it didn’t look good anyway. I’ll start on something else. Say, a knight?

Sunday, January 31^st. I went to have lunch with Jessica, whom I haven’t seen since football season. I forgot to budget into my timetable digging my car out of 6” of snow, and about the glass-like layer of ice coating my windshield. More cut up fingers. But lunch was worth it, and it was great getting to know her outside the context of Rhino Bar.

Went up to Mount Pleasant and had linner with Pam, which was also really good. But now it’s 4, and I’m supposed to suit up for a fancy shamcy dinner in Cleveland Park at 6. In my rush to get home, I get pulled over

Cop: Do you know what the speed limit is?

Me: Nope.

Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: Nope.

Cop: That’s two strikes... You were going 46 in a 30. Any particular reason you were going that fast?

Me: Well, it’s 5 and I have to get changed and meet my parents for dinner in Cleveland Park by 6 and it’s at least a 45-minute Metro ride away and I already don’t have enough time as it is and-

Cop: Ok, ok, let me see your license, I’ll have you out of here in a few minutes.

*A few minutes later*

Me: What’s the damage?

Cop: No damage, I’m letting you off with a warning, but you need to slow down. The roads are no good right now and your parents would rather you show up late than show up in the hospital.

Me: You’re absolutely right, thank you so much, have a great day!

Maybe my luck is turning around?

Wound up driving into DC, showed up 15 minutes late to the dinner, but it wasn’t such a big deal. Representative Henry Waxman (Cal's 30th) was there, which was neat (second politician sighting in two weeks! PoliSci majors, commence jealousy). Got lost in southeast for a bit on the way home, but it was just Anacostia, and it was a simple fix. I can live with this.

I get back to my building and walking down the hall I notice a quarter of the lights are out in the hall. Half of my apartment is without power. Not the whole thing, just half. But it’s the half with my tv, computer, cable, and most of my lights. Just when things were looking up…

Well, I’ll just keep working on my knight since things were going well in that territory. Dimly lit, but what else do I have to do? Another cut. Very small, no worse than a paper cut, really, but it drives the point home – this month needs to end (also, TAPE UP YOUR FINGER, IDIOT!). Put the knight down, go to bed.

Good morning February, how ya doin? My name is David and I want to be your friend. I’ll start by getting out of bed on time and you can start by making this morning go smoothly.

10 minutes later

Me: Hi, I’ve been waiting for my water to heat up for about 10 minutes… what’s going on?

Maintenance: Oh, yeah, well, the power outage last night knocked out the hot water tanks. Should be back in two hours.

So that’s how it’s going to be, then? Listen here, February, it’s going to take more than that. I think Chumbawumba said it best:

I get knocked down, but I get up again

You never gonna keep me down

I ge knocked down, but igeduppageh

Yeneeeeeegunnakee medowww

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day and I fully anticipate getting stuck in an unbreakable time loop. I’ve prepared for it, actually. Look for me on the 3^rd knowing how to speak French and play the violin and so on and so forth.

February has a reputation for bringing the worst snowstorms to DC; if December could man up and give us two feet, I’ll be genuinely disappointed if my car isn’t submerged for the duration of Presidents’ Day Weekend. Seriously, if I can still see the antenna, you’re not trying hard enough.

Dogs with bees in their mouths and when the bark they shoot bees at me? Horrifyingly cute. I’d like to see how good their aim is.

How about sharks with frikkin lasers beams attached to their heads? Acceptable only if they can fly and are superintelligent. No, wait, no superintelligence, it’ll be better if they’re mindless killing machines. Mindless. Killing. Machines.

NOBODY puts Baby in a corner!

UPDATE: I know you guys aren't going to believe this, but someone must have overflowed the bathtub in the apartment above me, or possibly the one above them, because a quart of water just rained down from the ceiling. Touche, February, but your form is a bit rusty.

What Exactly is a Rye, and Why Catch People in It?

Yesterday, JD Salinger died. I had posted here about how much I disliked Catcher in the Rye literally minutes before I heard.

Last night, I was whittling, giving Bear Knife a run for her money. I started with a plain block of wood and just started carving with no particular design in mind. My sister did some free-form embroidery a while ago and came out with a hand – a symbol of protection in Judaism – so I wasn’t entirely surprised when what appeared to be some sort of hour glass found a deep groove near the top, which I worked toward the center until it looked just like a rook – another symbol of protection.

I wish I had a picture of it, but apparently the universe had other plans for me. As I was carving, I sliced my index finger a couple times, but I’ve got some pretty hefty calluses there so aside from being a bit tender, there was no damage done. I noticed the blade was coming very VERY VERY close to the last knuckle on my middle finger, and thought Oh jeez, I need to be careful, I could really – SON OF A BITCH!


Well played, Salinger.

Forty-five minutes of holding a paper towel to my finger while holding my hands up in the air, and the bleeding had slowed enough to put a band-aid on it.

Theeeen it opened up again this morning when I took the band-aid off before showering, so I spent the entire shower raising my hand while attempting to use soap, shampoo, etc with the other. It was a very frustrating experience all around.

UPDATE: About four hours ago, it opened up again in the grocery store and took the little flap of skin that was holding my finger together with it. Turns out it's a lot deeper than I thought; the whole situation got real messy real fast. But I've been keeping my hand elevated as much as possible, and the bleeding has slowed considerably. Plus I'm getting an awesome shoulder workout, so this is really a win-win. Suck on it, Salinger, I didn't even read Gatsby.

I guess a hobby just isn’t a hobby unless I’m injuring myself in the process.

2010 Is Going Well, and By Well I Mean Head-Explodingly Bizarre

I have to do some IT Security training for work by the 31^st, which basically means I have to do it today. The thought that the end of the month is almost here got me thinking about the rest of the month and how utterly ridiculous it’s been. So far, I have:

•  Partied with Elvis
  
•  Watched unbelievably hung over as the Buckeyes beat Oregon in the Rose Bowl
•  Embarked on a journey to pick up more hobbies than I can possibly manage
•  Built a model airplane for the first time in at least 10 years (not done yet)
•  Went to St Louis and did not go to the Arch
•  Gotten to know the staff at Michael’s. We’re BFFs.
•  Saw the First Lady
•  Realized that Barney Stinton was right all along – SUIT UP!
•  Spent the entire night wandering the street of DC
•  Learned how to use an awl
•  Had my door kicked in my firefighters for no apparent reason

OH! I haven’t told you guys the story of door kicking incident! Let me start from the beginning.

Tuesday I went to run a variety of errands. I was done dragging my feet on the model airplane and decided to go pick up the last three paints I needed to finish it up (gloss coat, dull coat, decal set). And while I was out, I figured I’d pick up some small blocks of wood for #16 Whittling and new books for #3 Reading.

Well, of course Michael’s only has one of the three paints I need, so the model is just going to have to wait a little longer. But the whittling blocks, I got.

I decided not to buy a new knife for whittling and use one of the seven or so I have sitting around. I guess I’m a bit of a collector of knives. OK, more like a hoarder. Whatever, I was a Boy Scout; it’s in my nature. In my opinion, if you’re a Boy Scout and not a hoarder of pocketknives, you’re not doing it right.

I digress. The knife I chose is my big bear knife. This knife and I have a complicated relationship. Actually, no, it’s not really complicated – it’s more like my red headed step child. You see, I got this knife to replace my favorite knife, Blackie.

BEGIN MONTAGE

Blackie and I met by chance. Don’t you remember, Blackie? I found you at a campsite, stuck in the stump of a tree… black handle glistening with morning dew and straight, non-serrated, razor sharp 3 ½” blade wedged between the rings of a recently felled tree. Instantly I knew you had to be mine. But I hesitated, because I knew you belonged to someone else. I let you sit for a day and a half, and when no one claimed this beautiful creation, I took you as my own. I pulled you from the stump like Excalibur from the Stone.

You came with me on every trip for years. Mile after mile of the Appalachian Trail, through the mud of the Adirondacks, and that frigid night on Mt Fremont. Remember when those bucks took over the campsite? My first brush with any sort of dangerous wild animal. My grip was so tight I was afraid you might snap. But you held true. You made me feel safe. You always did.

Until one day, when you simply vanished. I don’t know where, why, or how, but I went to pack up for another foresty foray, and you were nowhere to be found. I miss you, Blackie. Come back to me.

Anyway, I needed a new knife. So I picked up this $15 POS of a locking, semi-serated single blade bear knife. I thought that would heal my heart, but Blackie, she is no suitor. She looks cool, but is completely unbalanced; I prefer your quite utilitarianism. Her blade is heavy and clumsy; I prefer your subtle edge. She is hard to open and close and usually requires two hands. What kind of bear knife requires two hands? No, Blackie, she just won’t do.

But maybe that’s my fault. Maybe I just haven’t given her a fair shot. Nautilus had all those flashy gadgets that proved useful every once in a while, so when I couldn’t handle thinking This would be so much easier if only I had Blackie anymore, I stopped using the bear knife all together.

END MONTAGE

So she sat. I put her away like a red headed stepchild the closet for all these years. I took my frustration with you out on her. And did she deserve it? Maybe. Or maybe I just had to break her in a little, ya know? I had the benefit of meeting you after someone had done all the hard work, but it wasn’t so with this new one. Puppies aren’t born knowing how to sit, right?

I’m going to give her a shot, Blackie. I’m going to move on because I know that’s what you’d want me to do. And to show myself that I’m serious, I’m going to start using capital letters. She’s not the bear knife anymore, she’s Bear Knife. I’m feeling better already.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Since I was out anyway, I decided to head up to Barnes & Noble to pick up some books because I’m a few pages from the end of Catcher in the Rye (still sucks, there’s really no saving this story, IMHO), so I had to loop back passed my building. Closing in on my apartment, a fire truck passes me. Closer to my apartment, another fire truck comes from the opposite direction, and I see it turn onto the side street for my complex.

Great, anther false alarm. At least I’ll be at B&N for this one.

Getting farther from my apartment, more fire trucks headed towards it.

OK, maybe it’s not a false alarm. Did I turn the stove off? I didn’t even turn it on. Space heater? On an outlet timer – definitely not on. Regular heater? Haven’t used it in weeks.am I overloading the outlets? I’ve only got two powerstrips – one of the is off right now the other is only hooked up to things currently on standby. K, not me.

Get back from B&N and there are about 15 fire trucks in front of my building. The fire was on my wing of the building, but not my side and a floor below me. No injuries, it was a vacant unit. They think it was started by the heater.

Phew, dodged a bullet!

I get up to my apartment, and see the door kicked in. I mean, the lock is completely destroyed and my door has been left open.

OH FUCK, I WAS ROBBED!! Some asshole took advantage of the evacuation and robbed me!!

Deadbolt is lying on the ground. Yeah, the lock is definitely destroyed. Computer? Check. TV? Check. Xbox? Check. Cable box? Check. Mail? Check. Food? Check. Alcohol? Check. Not a single thing is missing.

wtf?

The duct tape I used to seal the crack around the balcony door disheveled and the towel at the bottom of the door has been tossed halfway across the room.

Oh, the firemen must have kicked in the door to see if the fire spread… I guess it could have been worse.

The girl across the hall says her apartment was not kicked in, but the one next door – directly over the fire – was. It was a vacant apartment. In fact, there were no other doors in the entire 300+ unit building that were kicked in. Just the vacant apartment down the hall… and mine.

Also could have been better.

I told maintenance, who apparently were not informed by the fire department that any doors had been kicked in. They patched up the lock so that it would stick for the night, I went to my parent’s house, and they replaced the lock in the morning.

Seriously, it’s been a ridiculous month. Looking forward to next eleven. How's your 2010 shaping up?

Bernanke for Fed Chairman... Again

UPDATE: On second thought, it might be best to just ignore this post.It's very rambly and doesn't make a whole lot of sense unless you already know what I'm talking out. Terrible work, really. Appy polly loggies.

I guess I’ve been slacking on the econ front lately, so I’ll do a short jaunt into a dangerous subject: economics and politics. I love economics, but generally hate politics. Political discussions go nowhere because everyone has their opinions and are completely and totally unwilling to move from them, so I avoid them at all costs. I caught myself getting in an argument with Cori last night over health care and we successfully ran in circles many, many times, accomplishing exactly nothing.

For the sake of putting it out there, I’ll just say this: I consider myself a moderate. Maybe left leaning, but not too far. I voted for Obama, but mostly because I saw McCain’s pick of Palin less a signal of his maverick style (of which only a pasty white shell remains), and more him being a rash “decider” like Bush. I watch FOX and MSNBC, read Mankiw and Krugman, and try to find the middle ground.

Today, the Wall Street Journal’s Live Economics blog posted a discussion on the Federal Reserve, specifically Chairman Ben Bernanke. The article leads off with this

Ben Bernanke’s bloody confirmation battle is yet another sign that Congress, and the public more broadly, are looking for change at the nation’s central bank.

I disagree wholeheartedly. It was only a couple months ago that both sides were praising Bernanke and his reconfirmation was all but in the bag. Then the discussion started on the right side of the aisle… What if we can stop it?

Matt Yglesias, a local DC progressive, posted an article on his blog a few days ago about the rise of political obstructionism. Anybody who’s been watching the news in the last couple of months will realize the Republican party’s latest tactic – make anything the Democrats do fail. In their failure, they will have broken Obama’s promises of change and have an opening in November. All of this regardless of whether or not the Democrats’ ideas are good for the country.

Apparently, the very fact that Obama wants Bernanke reconfirmed means the Republicans have be against it, despite the fact that Bernanke was actually a Bush appointee!

So let me stand on my little soapbox and say that I support Bernanke for Fed Chairman. He was the first one to do anything about the financial crisis by cutting the discount and fed funds rate by an unprecedented 0.5% in September 2007, sending a clear message to the American public – the Federal Reserve will fight aggressively. It wasn’t until May 2008 that Congress approved the $300 tax rebate, which, despite being a nice election-year ploy, is nothing but empty inflation. Was I the only deficit hawk squawking his head off?

The beauty of having a Fed that’s entirely separate from the rest of the government means that they can act quickly. There’s no bickering over semantics like in Congress; when the Fed wants to do something, they just do it. And they have! The fed funds and discount rates are as close to 0 as they can possibly be. Bernanke now wants to invoke the “Volcker Rule,” essentially a rehashing of the 1933 Glass-Steagall Act. The NYTimes.com Economix blog explains it best:

For the second time in less than 80 years, the nation’s commercial banks are being told to stick to their knitting. Their knitting is taking deposits, handling checking accounts, lending money and managing the nation’s payment system. Twice now, they have ventured beyond these standard activities, gotten into trouble and almost brought down the financial system.


The solution in the 1930s, and once again now, is this: get out of the sideline businesses that caused so much trouble.

It’s a big move. It’s a bold move. It’s a Bernanke move. And it’s the right thing to do.

So let him keep doing his job. Kthnxbye.

I Made a Thing!

So I’ve been doing a lot of work on #20 Leatherwork lately.

Here’s a picture of the first thing I made.

Ok, so it’s not really a thing to make. I was just learning how to use the awl because I’ve never done it before. What is an awl? Basically, it’s a giant badass needle for sewing leather.

It has a hole in the point instead of in the back so you can do a special kind of stitch. It uses a thick wax-coated thread that’s stored in that spool right behind the needle. The wooden is there because you’d never be able to just push the needle through the leather.

This is how you use an awl for those of you who are interested (I’m guessing that’s no one, but I’m doing this anyway). First, cut the appropriate amount of leather, about three times the length of whatever it is you’re sewing together. Wrap one end around a little peg or something on the handle – in this case, the bolt at the base of needle – and thread the eye.

Next, push the needle through the two layers that you’re sewing together, then pull the thread all the way through. Pull the needle back until you’ve got half the thread on one side and half the thread on the other.

Now you’re ready to do the first stitch. Push the needle through the leather about ¼” from the first hole. Pull the needle back a bit, this should create a little loop – thread it.

Hold the thread firmly in place while you pull back on the awl. Stop pulling when the thread is taut and the little knot is in between the layers, though it not a big deal if it’s actually sitting on one side.

When you're done, finish it off with a square not (I don't know if this is actually what you're supposed to do, but it's what I did). Left over right, right over left.

Here’s a video of what a stitch looks like. Don’t judge. If you’d had the couple of days that I’ve had, you’d sit around and take pictures of sewing leather, too.

If you’re wondering what that small red spot on the leather is…

Needle = sharp.

I went to my parent’s house Friday afternoon and wanted to bring my work with me when it occurred to me that I didn’t have a way to safely transport this 2” very very sharp needle. I wrapped it up in my bag of spare leather for the time being and took a few minutes while I was there to make a sheath for it.

Hey look, I actually made a thing!